Forever and always
by StupidLamb93
Summary: This story is set before Bella becomes a vampire. Bella and Edward go out one night and Edward gives Bella the diaries he has kept for the majority of his existance.
1. Chapter 1

Shakespeare once said,

"_For never was there a story of more woe, than this of Juliet and her Romeo,"_

But living in my own Romeo and Juliet story, I have to say, I completely disagree with this notion.

I ran down the stairs as I heard the quiet tap on the door, and through the chilly hallway. I struggled to open the door. _Stupid deadbolt_, I thought to myself. There he was, standing on the porch. My own personal Romeo.

"Hi," I said, breathing in the sent of him.

"Hello. How was your afternoon?" Edward replied.

"It was tolerable. But it seems to have perked up now."

He chuckled and pulled me into the circle of his arms. I held on with all my strength, desperate to stay there, and Edward, noticing my actions picked me up and carried me to the living room. He sat us on the couch and pulled me onto his knee, burying his face in my hair.

"I missed you." I sighed. I always missed him when he left to hunt.

Edward chuckled and pulled me tighter to his chest.

"It never gets easier does it, love? Leaving I mean." He whispered.

It was inevitable that he had to leave every so often. There wasn't anything either of us could do about it.

"I can handle it." I murmured against his shoulder.

"Well at least one of us can." He mused.

We sat silently for a moment, content in the silence.

"What do you want to do tonight? You choose." He suddenly asked.

"I don't mind." I said while Edward picked up Charlie's newspaper. On the front, was a picture of a two people holding hands.

"Let's go on a date." I said suddenly.

"What?" he asked slightly confused.

"A date. We've never gone on a proper date before. Let's do it. Tonight." I don't know why the idea suddenly came into my head, but it did and for some reason, I seemed desperate to do it.

"You want to go on a date?"

"I do."

"Okay…but I'll make a deal with you. You chose what we're going to do, but I get to choose what we do." He said with a glint of amusement in his eyes.

"That seems fair."

"Okay, I'll pick you up later then." He smiled.

"What? Why, where are you going?" I asked, taken-aback slightly.

"Well, if you want to go on a "proper date", then I'm going to have to leave so that I can come pick you up." He smirked.

"…you could have said that that was part of the deal." I said, letting my face fall into a pout.

Edward put his fingers under my chin to tilt my head up. He gently pressed his lips to mine and wound his arms round my back, pulling me closer. He leaned away slightly, his dazzling smile stunning me.

"It will be worth it later. Promise." He whispered.

I pressed my lips back to his and sighed.

"I can't wait."

He chuckled, and then suddenly he was gone. I heard Charlie's cruiser pulling up outside, my queue to start the dinner.


	2. Chapter 2

"Eh….dad, I'm going out after dinner with Edward."

Charlie was mid-way through eating. He stopped chewing and looked at me thoughtfully.

"Where are you going?"

"I don't know yet. I think it's a surprise."

"Ok. There's a game on anyway, so I won't be much company." He sniffed.

"Are you sure, I don't mind staying here with Edward." I offered.

"No, no. You go out and have fun." He grumbled.

I stood up to wash my plate and I heard a gentle tap on the door. Charlie left the table to answer it and heard him acknowledge Edward.

"Bells, he's here." Charlie said, walking back to his seat. Edward walked through the doorway, carrying a single red rose. I felt the blush colouring my cheeks as heat coursed through my veins.

"Hey."

"Hello. Are you ready now, or do you need a few minutes?" he chuckled.

"Just give me a minute." I said as I ran upstairs to get washed. I brushed my teeth, and then skipped to my room to grab my purse and quickly get changed. I settled on a new, blue blouse Alice had given me and a knee length black skirt. The excitement coursed through my veins as I made my way down the stairs. I caught Edward's eye and could swear that I saw a glint of lust in his eyes.

"Are you ready?" he asked?

"Yes. Charlie we're leaving now." I called.

A grunt came from the living room, clearly an acknowledgement.

Edward wrapped his arm around my waist and steered me towards the door. I didn't say anything until we were seated in his car.

"So where are we going?"

"You'll see. It's a surprise." He smirked.

He drove off and we sat in silence for a while.

"So are you excited?" he asked, trying to hide his smile.

"I'd be more excited if I knew where I was going." I pressed.

"Bella, where is your sense of adventure? Can you, for once, just do something spontaneous without worrying about anything?"

That wasn't fair. I can be spontaneous and have a sense of adventure. The temptation to retaliate to his comment was to big, but the look on his angelic face couldn't be disappointed.

Before the long, Edward steered the car into an open space and before I could have a proper look, he'd opened the door for me.

"Where are-"

"Shh." He said softly while he covered my eyes with his cold hands. I felt him tie something behind my head, where he replaced his hands for a blindfold. With one quick movement, I was swept up into his arms.

He breathed evenly as he carried me into the unknown.

"We're nearly there." He said. I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Are you gonna tell me where we're going?" I asked again.

Edward placed me on my feet and stood behind me. I felt his hands brush along my collar bone.

"I told you, it was a surprise."

His hands move to the blindfold, which he untied with ease. It slid from my face, and the first thing that registered was that we were at the coast. The next, was that there was a path along the sand made out of scattered rose petals.

"I can come here." Edward began. "We haven't made a treaty with the locals yet." He smirked.

I looked at him in awe. He took my hand and led me down the newly created path. The air was cool as it gently blew against my face. Small flickers of light started to appear from around the corner, and as we reached it, I saw a small fire had been lit and a rug lying not far from it.

"You did this?" I whispered.

"Well, I can't exactly take you out for dinner. Well…I could…but that wouldn't be much fun for you." He smirked.

"It's so….romantic." was all I could say.

"I do have my moments."

He led the way to the blanket and we both sat down.

"I have something for you." He said.

I gave him a surly look. How could he top a romantic night on the beach in front of a fire?

"It's nothing big." He assured me. "But, there's something you've said before and it made me think about things."

"I say a lot of things…your gonna need to help me out here."

He chuckled and pulled me into his arms.

"You said a while back that "There are many nights I don't know about." And I think your right. There are many nights in my life that you don't know about and I wish you did nearly as much as I wish you were there."

"…Ok….I still don't get it."

He leaned towards the back of the blanket and pulled a package onto his lap.

"These are the diaries I kept before I met Carlisle, and up to about 50 years of being a Vampire. I want you to have them."

He placed the package in front of me and I sat still as a statue. My lover had just given me nearly 70 years of his life on paper, of which I had no clue what held. What kind of things did he feel I needed to know?

"Read them." He whispered.


	3. Chapter 3

…_Father has finally gone. It was peaceful. The man in the white cloak said that in the final stages, he didn't feel a thing. But now mother has the first signs of it, and I've been with her always, so there is a large possibility that I may have it too. I'm not worried about it; I just want to be able to look after her…_

I stopped reading as the tears silently rolled down my eyes. Edward's diaries lay open on my bed, the diaries he'd given me not 3 hours ago. He had taken me home after our date on the beach and I'd convinced Charlie that I was tired, so I needed to go to bed.

It was heartbreaking reading the diaries of the "boy" I loved. There's so much in his life that I don't know about, but he felt I should.

I picked up the diary and continued reading. I had about 5 minutes until Edward came back for the night.

…_It's been confirmed. Mother has the disease. And the man in the white cloak, he says his name is Carlisle, told me that I have the symptoms. She's getting worse by the hour, and even as I write this I feel wrong. There are pains in my head, and I feel extremely cold. I can't get sick though. Mother needs me. And my dream of being in the army looms closer. And, I can't leave Eliza. It wouldn't be fair._

"Has my human life interested you?"

"_Oh!"_ I gasped as I heard his voice from the corner of my room. Edward stepped out from the shadows and came to sit on my bed. I quickly shut the book and put it and the rest of them onto my bedside table.

"It's…quite intriguing." I said.

He laughed once.

"So what part are you reading?"

"I was just skimming. I didn't read anything big." I replied, too quickly.

He gave me a suspicious look. He knew when I wasn't being completely truthful with him; even if he couldn't hear my thoughts.

"I'm quite tired." I said, not meeting his eyes. "It's been an eventful day." I laughed.

His eyes softened, and he pulled me into his arms.

"Ok. Sleep love."

I curled into his side and closed my eyes.

My head was buzzing with the amount of information I had read. It was heart-wrenching to read about the deaths of him and his family. The dreams that he'd had. And Eliza. Who was she? For now those thoughts were put on hold as sleep overcame me.


	4. Chapter 4

"Alice…can I ask you something?"

"Of course." Alice said, a little suspiciously.

The cafeteria buzzed around us as we leaned across the table towards each other. Edward had left for the afternoon to go hunting with Emmett and Jasper.

"Promise me you won't say anything to Edward?"

"Bella, what's wrong?"

"Alice, how much of Edward's past do you know?"

"A fair bit…Bella what's going on?" she asked, frustration creeping into her voice.

I debated on whether or not to tell her, and then decided if I was truthful; she would probably tell me what I wanted to know.

"Edward gave me his old diaries, and there are…certain things…that I don't understand."

"Ok…but bare in mind that I don't know everything…what do you want to know?"

"Well, I was reading part of it last night, and it was before he had become a vampire…and he was getting ill. And…it mentioned a name. Someone called Eliza." I finished in a whisper.

Alice's face was suddenly full of panic. But she soon controlled her expression.

"Bella…there are things in Edward's life that you don't know about…it's not my place to tell you."

"But Edward wants me to know." I argued, panic leaking into my voice.

"Yes…but I think Edward wants you to find out for yourself. You know that I would help you…but in these circumstances…you know I can't. I think you should just keep reading."

My face fell. What was going on? This Eliza person was obviously a big influence in Edward's pre immortal life…but why? And why wouldn't Alice tell me? She's never kept secrets from me before.

*

_There's a white angel. He keeps coming to see me. The beautiful imperfect angel. The angel tells me she's coming soon…my Eliza. The world seems different. People are crying and the angel tells them that everything will be fine. Mother lies on the bed next to me. I can tell she's slipping away. _

I was crying again at Edward's words. It was hard reading of his suffering, and his writing had changed. His beautiful calligraphy was becoming harder to read, it looked like the illness he was suffering from was worsening. Again, I was puzzled by the mystery that was Eliza. And now there is a "white angel". Why on earth would Edward want me to read this? Did he not realise how much it would hurt to read of his past and read of a girl who clearly had a big impact on his life, but whom he had never mentioned before to me. I picked up the book again to carry on reading, but the writing had changed again, it was more legible and was a different style. The first line caught my eye and took my breath away.

_Miss Eliza Mason 12__th__ February, 1918._

_My brother requested that his diary be finished. He said he has a feeling that he does not have long left, but he wants his final days to be recorded. So this is my final gift to him before I leave to America and before my dear little brother passes the golden gates of heaven._

_His temperature is sweltering hot and the doctor says that it's only a matter of time, so to be prepared. Mother passed away a few hours ago but I don't think Edward has realised. He keeps speaking of a white angel, but I don't know what he means. As I write this he looks up and smiles._

"_Eliza, dear Liza." And closes his eyes._

_The doctor has come back. Edward seems delirious. He keeps saying,_

"_Here is my angel. My white angel."_

_The doctor has a strange beauty around him. It's entrancing._

_The doctor has just told me it's time. I must say my goodbyes and leave. Edward's breathing has got heavier and even something simple as breathing seems like a struggle for him. So these are my final words for Edward. Rest in peace my dear little brother. Suffer no more. It's all over, you can rest now. _

_To anyone who reads this diary, know this, Edward Mason, was a courageous and wonderful person. There is no one like him who has the same kindness and who has a heart bigger than his. But for now I am of to the Americas, and Edward will eternally rest._

At the bottom of the paragraph, Eliza had signed her name. The girl I once envied, now became the girl I was thankful was there for Edward in his time of need.

"It's quite interesting reading about his life, isn't it?"

Alice had just climbed through my window.

I glanced up at her, tears sticking to my eye lashes.

"I never knew… I feel so terrible. He lost so much."

"Not to depress you anymore… but it gets worse." Alice whispered, pointing to the next diary on my bedside table.

I picked up the book, and hugged it close to my chest.


End file.
